You probably get credit card offers in the mail. Phone calls, email, Twitter spam...it's America, and who can escape the mighty plastic card. I get 'em too. Weird enough, I recently received an offer for the Visa Black Card. Supposedly, this card offer is "...limited to only 1% of U.S. residents...".
Dude, being considered part of the 1% is seriously going to hurt my street cred.
I can attest, I am in no way a member of the financial elite. I'm not anti-money, but by the same token I'm certainly not being asked to join a country club any time soon. Well, you know what Groucho Marx said about joining clubs... Anyway, I think my credit is pretty decent enough. But either Visa is completely full of shit, or someone didn't do their math all the way through to the end when sending out invitations to the party. And why, might you ask, do I call this a "party"? Well...
When you're wearing a leather cat-suit, six inch heels, and your modes of transport include a motorcycle and a helicopter (the "gentleman valet" is holding the door and a helmet), I'm telling you, the party is on. Debt or no debt. And isn't that the point, really? We're all too sexy for our debt. But apparently we're not too sexy for services.
Cardmembers enjoy a 24-hour Concierge Assistant, Exclusive Rewards Program, and Luxury Gifts from some of the world's top brands. Black Card's VIP Airport Lounge program provides unlimited visits.
Who wouldn't pay $495 annually for all that? Wait, that question was so stupid, just pretend I never asked it.
Not merely a print campaign, there is a full length 'Back In Black' commercial. For a good laugh, er, I mean, to check out the sexy, click here. Speaking as someone who, at the age of twelve, freaking wore out his copy of this classic AC/DC album, there is only one word to explain what I feel after watching that: shame.
But wait, there's more...Best of all, this isn't just another plastic piece of crap in your wallet that will lead you down the road to over-spending, depression and despair. Oh no, my friend, this is something entirely different.
Made with carbon, the Visa Black Card is guaranteed to get you noticed.
Yeah. I can't stop staring at that model's Black Card.
~ Cheers!
Dude, being considered part of the 1% is seriously going to hurt my street cred.
I can attest, I am in no way a member of the financial elite. I'm not anti-money, but by the same token I'm certainly not being asked to join a country club any time soon. Well, you know what Groucho Marx said about joining clubs... Anyway, I think my credit is pretty decent enough. But either Visa is completely full of shit, or someone didn't do their math all the way through to the end when sending out invitations to the party. And why, might you ask, do I call this a "party"? Well...
When you're wearing a leather cat-suit, six inch heels, and your modes of transport include a motorcycle and a helicopter (the "gentleman valet" is holding the door and a helmet), I'm telling you, the party is on. Debt or no debt. And isn't that the point, really? We're all too sexy for our debt. But apparently we're not too sexy for services.
Cardmembers enjoy a 24-hour Concierge Assistant, Exclusive Rewards Program, and Luxury Gifts from some of the world's top brands. Black Card's VIP Airport Lounge program provides unlimited visits.
Who wouldn't pay $495 annually for all that? Wait, that question was so stupid, just pretend I never asked it.
Not merely a print campaign, there is a full length 'Back In Black' commercial. For a good laugh, er, I mean, to check out the sexy, click here. Speaking as someone who, at the age of twelve, freaking wore out his copy of this classic AC/DC album, there is only one word to explain what I feel after watching that: shame.
But wait, there's more...Best of all, this isn't just another plastic piece of crap in your wallet that will lead you down the road to over-spending, depression and despair. Oh no, my friend, this is something entirely different.
Made with carbon, the Visa Black Card is guaranteed to get you noticed.
Yeah. I can't stop staring at that model's Black Card.
~ Cheers!
No comments:
Post a Comment